​Using Neena Gupta’s journey as a case study, a psychologist explains why refusing financial support can be an act of preserving one’s identity (Source: Express archive photo). Actor Neena Gupta recently reflected on her past relationship with West Indies cricket legend Vivian Richards and the realities that led her to raise her child as a single parent. Speaking about why the relationship didn’t progress into a shared life, she said, “It wasn’t practical. Either I would have had to leave behind my job and go to the West Indies, or he would have had to give up his career and come to India; neither of which was possible.”. Speaking to Shubhankar Mishra, she also explained why she chose not to take financial support while raising her daughter: “I didn’t feel like it. I had so much pride. I never even asked my parents for money. I accepted only what they offered, particularly since they were already opposed to my becoming an actor. They always felt that acting wasn’t a good (respectable) job. Since I came to Mumbai against their wishes, how can I ask them for money?”. Reflecting on the emotional side of the relationship, she recalled being asked whether it was a proper love story or something more casual and responded, “Go ask him,” adding with a laugh, “Everyone is afraid to ask him. Why do all of you ask only me? (sic)” She also shared, “I think we were in love. Although we were together for only a short while, the time we spent together was wonderful.”. How do pride and personal values influence decisions around accepting or declining financial support from a partner?. Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “In therapy, I’ve learned that money in relationships is rarely just about provision. It carries power, meaning, and emotional weight. When a woman declines financial support, especially in a situation where there is no shared life, it can be about preserving psychological authorship. Accepting money may feel like accepting influence, even if none is explicitly imposed.”. For many Indian women who have fought hard to build professional identities, Raj notes, self-reliance is deeply tied to dignity. Relocating or restructuring life entirely around a partner’s geography or career can feel like shrinking oneself. “Personal values become decisive here. If independence forms the core of one’s identity, compromising it can create quiet resentment. Children are perceptive. They absorb emotional coherence. A parent who feels steady and self-respecting often provides a stronger foundation than financial comfort alone.”. The psychological impact. “These relationships are uniquely complex because there is love without feasibility,” explains Raj, adding that nothing dramatic collapses. There is affection, sometimes even deep attachment, but no workable future. That creates a grief rooted in possibility. The mind repeatedly revisits imagined alternatives, wondering whether one more sacrifi