The revelation came unexpectedly when she was asked to book a cab using her partner’s phone and saw a message notification from his ex-girlfriend. What first appeared to be a routine text led to something much more distressing. As she continued to look, she found similar conversations with multiple women. “The second girl popped up, the third girl, the fourth, the fifth. There were five girls he was messaging,” she said, noting that he was speaking to them as if he were single. Still in shock and far from home, she took screenshots and sent them to close friends, including actor Ananya Panday, who urged her to leave immediately. Shanaya recalled, “My friend, Ananya (Panday), was like, ‘Catch a train and just come here.’ We were pretty close by… I was like, ‘I can’t just catch a fucking train, what do I do?’ This whole dinner, I’m pretending like everything’s okay.” For several days, she continued the trip while processing the betrayal internally, eventually confronting him and ending the relationship. 

When someone discovers infidelity suddenly, what immediate emotional and practical steps can help them feel safer?

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “When infidelity is discovered suddenly —  especially in an unfamiliar place — it’s destabilising in a very primal way. The body reacts first. I’ve seen people describe it as feeling faint, numb, almost outside themselves. That’s acute stress. So before you say anything, stabilise your body. Slow breathing. Cold water on your face. Sit down.”

Ananya Panday and Shanaya Kapoor are childhood best friends (Source: Instagram/ Shanaya Kapoor)

If you’re travelling, Raj says, the distress multiplies because you’re not in your own space. So bring back small pockets of control. Check your return ticket. Make sure you have independent access to money. Create physical distance if you can. Even stepping out alone can help you think. There’s often pressure to “address it immediately.” But clarity doesn’t come from shock. It comes from regulation. Protect your dignity first. Conversations can wait.

Why do some people continue to act ‘normal’ for hours or days after learning about a partner’s betrayal?

People are often unsettled by how composed they appear. They expect a dramatic reaction. Instead, they continue functioning. That isn’t indifference. It’s the nervous system pacing the blow. “When attachment breaks abruptly, the mind compartmentalises. It allows you to get through the moment before the full emotional impact lands. In my practice, I’ve seen the breakdown happen days later — sometimes in very ordinary settings — because that’s when the person finally feels safe enough to feel,” states Raj. 

How can individuals process the emotional aftermath in a healthy way?

Raj mentions that healing requires separating their choices from your identity. “Someone’s lack of integrity does not define your worth. But that insight isn’t instant. There’s anger. Shame. Sometimes you still miss them. It’s rarely linear.”

Rebuilding trust isn’t about becoming guarded with everyone. “It’s about becoming clearer with yourself. Looking honestly at patterns, red flags you rationalised, boundaries you softened. Not to punish yourself — but to strengthen discernment. Trust feels safer in the future when it’s anchored in self-respect, not hope alone,” suggests Raj.