Affirming that a mother’s guilt is real, Delnna Rrajesh, a psychotherapist and life coach, said it arises when a woman feels she is failing at work or at parenting, sometimes both simultaneously.

“It is amplified by social judgment. If she works long hours, she is accused of neglect. If she scales back, she is questioned about ambition. Psychologically, guilt often signals care. It means the mother deeply values her child. But chronic guilt can distort perception. It can make a competent, loving parent feel perpetually inadequate. The healthier question is not ‘Did I do this at the right age?’ It is ‘Am I emotionally available now?’” added Delnna.

Mom’s guilt is real (Photo: AI-generated)

Children do not measure love in hours alone. According to Delnna, they measure it in attention. Predictability. Emotional responsiveness. Rituals. “Even small daily anchors like eating together create attachment security,” said Delnna.

There is also a powerful reframing needed around so-called ‘late motherhood’, contended Delnna.

“Emotional maturity can enhance parenting. A woman who has built her identity, confronted her insecurities and stabilised her ambitions often brings greater emotional clarity to motherhood. She is less likely to see her child as her only source of validation and more likely to see them as an independent individual,” said Delnna.

View this post on Instagram

Balancing ambition and parenting requires conscious design. Some practical shifts that protect both roles include:

*Creating daily rituals, however small, that belong only to parent and child.
*Communicating openly with the child about work, so they feel included rather than excluded.

Also Read | Bhagyashree on how she and husband Himalaya Dassani care and support each other: ‘Woh mere paiir dabaate hai’

*Releasing comparison with other mothers.
*Prioritising emotional presence over perfection.

“The real measure is not when you became a mother. It is how consciously you mother now,” added Delnna.